Happy Holidays! And a 5 Step Plan to Deal with 10 Different Bad Bosses

And talking about joy and peace, let’s talk about how to achieve that peace in the office too, because let’s face it, we spend a considerable amount of time at work. The least we can do is make it happier 🙂

So in that vein, I have put together some tips on how to deal with a difficult boss at work.  To have a jerk as a colleague is a pain but to have a jerk as a boss can become a real issue in terms of your motivation, productivity and in severe case your physical and/or mental health.

Whether you like it or not but at some stage in your career you will encounter a jerk as boss. I had that pleasure a couple of times (see also are you bullied by your boss, bully back). One time I survived, but the other time I had to leave the company and move to another job.

Before I give you my suggestions on how to deal with different types of your jerk bosses let me give you 5 generic steps on what you should do in dealing with a bad boss.

Often it takes a jerk to recognise a jerk and the problem with blaming others is that it deflects all the responsibility on resolving it to someone else. Before you move to the next step try to see the activities of your boss in a larger context and remember that (1) he is probably smarter than you give him credit for, (2) your boss is most likely acting this way for a reason and (3) someone more senior in the organisation must believe that your boss adds value.

Don’t respond in kind, try to undermine your boss, gossip about him to colleagues or worse go to your boss his boss to complain about him. Be patient, make a log of your interactions and incidents and find a person in the organisation who you trust and can help you deal with the situation better.

When you are ready an up to it, share your concerns with your boss. Do this on the basis of concrete evidence and the impact his actions has on your productivity. Be specific and try to link it to outcomes. For example tell him that the way he micro manages stops you from thinking out of the box and come up with new ideas, which in turn negatively impact  the ability of the department to achieve its targets.

No matter how bad your boss is, it is all about your reputation. Nothing builds a stronger reputation in the company than your ability to deliver results. I hear you say but how can I deliver results when my boss is like this. And of course this is an issue. But if you are known in the company as a great team members and someone ho is (or has delivered) great results there will be people lining up to get you in their team.

The only time you can choose your boss is when you choose a new job. If any of the above don’t work and you don’t want to put the energy in to make it right you always have the opportunity to exercise you choice. Don’t let your jerk boss make that choice for you, make sure that you are always aware of the situation and move before anybody else makes that decision for you.

The above list is a generic list on how you can survive a Jerk boss, there are, of course, different strategies that you can deploy depending on what kind of jerk your boss is.

The list below is my compilation of Jerk bosses I have encountered over the past 25+ years.

Characteristics: Charismatic, Lacks ethics, Manipulative

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B is always in the pursuit of gaining power would say anything to get ahead. He loves to divide and rule and play different people against so that he remains safe.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Listen more and speak less 2. Document everything work related 3. Understand the informal networks within the organization 4. Manage your own behavior and information around these bosses 5. See if you can stick it out, or consider moving out if things get too overwhelming

Characteristics: coercive, power hungry, high energy, assertive

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B takes joy in teasing, pushing, harassing subordinates and especially ones that won’t stand up for themselves or stand out and are different from other.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Be assertive and not be the victim 2. Be methodical in how you behave, perform, document and strategize 3. Don’t let the bully alienate you, talk to people on a regular basis 4. Document all small incidents that illustrate pattern of bullying 5. Take formal action, and if necessary then leave the organization/boss

Characteristics: Controlling, involved in details, not giving any authority, need to sign off on everything

Example of Jerk Behavior: Ms. B is extremely controlling. She has asked his team to ensure that she is CC’d in all mails and acts as a bottleneck for all work that goes through.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Ask the boss what they expect from you 2. Be proactive with your work; provide frequent and detailed updates 3. Realize that it is not you, however do a self assessment of yourself/work 4. Speak to your boss if situation reaches breaking point 5. Consider moving on

Characteristics: Sense of self importance, requires excessive admiration, lacks empathy, compensating for low self esteem, often arrogant

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B is always preoccupied with his fantasies of success, power and brilliance and is convinced that he is special and unique. Undermines his teams to make them feel that he is the reason behind all the successes of the team

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Keep your emotions in check, don’t let them push to positive/negative emotional state 2. Give them a sense of security, let them know you’ll handle the work 3. Set personal boundaries and let them know you have a personal life outside of their work 4. Don’t be misled by their expert manipulation 5. When you have had enough, find a new job

Characteristics: Is insecure, wants to please everybody, has a strong desire to be liked and can’t make tough decisions

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B finds it difficult to exude power which makes it equally difficult for him to take decisions. He wants to keep all his team members happy at all times, however in this quest to be nice the goals and growth of individuals are lost in the way.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Maintain your distance to keep a secure position at your job 2. Learn to disagree with him politely 3. Conversations should be strictly work-based, no personal issues 4. Don’t be dependent; handle your own work responsibilities 5. Don’t be sucked into their orbit or else their problems will become yours

Characteristics: Inconsiderate, demanding, projects personal standards and ethics on others

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B has no concept of work-life balance and frequently sticks around at the office till late hours expecting his team to be available at any hour for work that needs to get done.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Set clearly your own priorities and decide how much time you are willing to give to the workaholic boss 2. Improve the quality of your work by working ahead of deadlines and not piling work 3. Send regular updates of work before they ask 4. Aim o work full speed before the end of the day to finish maximum work 5. Toughen up to work for a demanding boss or exit the stage.

Characteristics: Controlling, tyrannical

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B wants control of everything. She makes decisions without communicating her purpose well and also undermines the team members confidence in their own abilities.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Don’t let them tyrannize you 2. Realize that their ideas and approaches have value 3. Don’t present your point of view in a confrontational manner 4. Don’t cave or give in to threats or else they will never stops 5. Pick your battles cautiously and stand your ground

Characteristics: Visionary, Not concrete with ideas, sketchy, abstract

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B has great big ideas to share with his teams, however it is very difficult to articulate these ideas into actionable plans. He tends to re-define his dreams ever so quickly which makes it difficult for his team to execute work.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Constantly ask questions for clarity 2. Aim to get concrete information from them 3. Get feedback on the work being done 4. Document all conversation with these bosses and make sure to get approvals in black and white 5. Be the executioner for this visionary.

Characteristics: ostrich behavior, avoids decision making, lacks accountability, can have hysterical tendencies

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B has a project waiting in the pipeline but is afraid to take an executive decision to move forward with it. He is constantly looking towards his boss or team to make this decision and to provide concrete facts that would ensure success and no failure.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Put everything in writing 2. Only take major issues up with him 3. Ask questions and follow up questions to get his viewpoint on matter 4. Be the leader and fill in the holes 5. Speak to the bosses boss if it doesn’t make things more complicated.

Characteristics: Self-centered, Queen B syndrome, wants to look good to the higher management

Example of Jerk Behavior: Mr. B even though claims that it is all about collective efforts and not a one person show, tends to always think about herself. She is so absorbed in her own success that she tends to overlook the progression of her team.

Dealing with the jerk: 1. Make sure they acknowledge your work 2. Get their commitment on your learning and development 3. Treat them as a small part of the big organization 4. Have your bases covered so they can’t blame you for their failure

So let me know which one is yours and of course if you have the best boss ever then I am more than happy to hear that as well. Remember to subscribe to the blog to get your leadership fix in 2015 😉